Don't know what to say....

First of all... All I wan't with this blogpost is to wright down my feelings, maybe that's odd, maybe no one will see this, but I just want to get these feelings somewhere else and I don't care if my English is wrong or not....

So my horse (well it's daddies horse) won't help me in the showpen anymore, she won't be able to even sit on...
And I'm broken in a thousand pieces, not because she won't look good in the showpen, it's because I'm so worried about that she won't be happy, because she can't even take a loop in the arena, she  can't take walks in the wood because it's too painful for her.
What if she won't be happy, and if it is so, I have to say goodbye, and I'm not sure if I can take that again in such a short time (my pony had to take his last breath last year).
She is everything to me, when she came to Sweden she was empty, when I looked into har eyes I saw nothing, but I started to brush her everyday, I took her on walks, after a couple of weeks she started to trust me, her eyes started to look alive again, and just look at her know! She screams when she see me, she love when I brush her behind her ear, she close her eyes and put her head against my chest, and what if all of this just ends one day soon? Actually, I think that's going to be too much for me to take, and I don't say that to sound selfish, it's because I don't want my best friend to disappere, to go away in the emptiness....


I know the text was very rambly, I don't even know if it's able to read....


Spook Nu You,Okie....
I LOVE YOU

/IDA